Losing the One You Love

If I knew then what I know now, my looks upon life would have been different. The thoughts that I had towards life would have been different. Everyone had a feeling it was coming but never saw it approach. When it did, the results were not exactly what you would call a relief.

At the age of 54, my uncle was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. He was already on the last stage, and life was slowly punishing him. With pains and aches that were unexplainable. The last time I saw him was in the summer, and something’s telling me I won’t have another. Although he lived halfway across Canada, in Kyle, Saskatchewan, if truth be told we were exceptionally close. Smoking for the past 30 years of his life, it all back washed on him. Full of life, and having the words, “nothing can stop me,” written on his forehead, vanished. It was like I have an empty space in me, that’s draining itself. Looking up at him when I was young, and as the years past watching my eyes finally meet with his, but they looked old, tired. That was going to be the story of his life for the next year. Why should someone so good, have to suffer, like that?

Wishing he would just, in some way go. To see him live out his last moment in pain is unacceptable. Wishing he would just not wake up one morning. Nothing ever stopped him from living, and this has now put a brick wall in front of him, a barrier that would never move. I have lost all hope, and I desperately want the suffering to end. Since the cancer was found, the ride of life had become covered more drastically with rocks to make it a rough surface. I would do anything for his hole to be covered, and for him to simply rest in peace. If I somehow could take back those years, when I never paid attention to his presence, I would.

Conditions are further away from good, they are unable to register. Surprised he’s made it this far, and at the same time in denial that he should live. Everyone wants to live forever, and have things placed in front of them, no one expects to win it upon themselves. My Uncle, Robert Graves was the opposite of those no-life people. He drove himself to get what he anticipated to have. Working so hard to give others theirs, I wish they would help him keep his. Life. Nothing promising will come out of it, and nothings ever perfect. I’ve learnt that much.

One word represents my uncle, and Father’s brother, “strong.” He was one of a kind, saving people’s lives, to putting away the wrong things in life behind bars. Or playing hockey, and having his dream end by taking a slap shot in the ankle, smashing it, and never able to skate quite right again. Watching his best friend die, and saving the rest from the man who murdered her. I guess it’s my turn now, to watch him die, but having nothing to save. What can I do? What is there to do? Other than the mental support, but even then, I can’t do much because of the drugs he’s taking for the pain. I pray every night, that he doesn’t remember life in his last couple of years, I want him to remember what it was like to feel alive, to feel the grasshoppers skim the side of your leg when you walk through the field, to have a little brother who looks up to you. The first time he learnt how to ride a bike. Not the last. Never the last. Only the part where we say, “I’m losing the one I love.”
Life is never what we expect, and most of the time that’s the joy we achieve out of it. Living day to day is all we can do, and forget the past, because when you drag the remains behind you, there will never be a chance to have a future. Expecting for the sun to come out every day and break the rain, you’re wasting your time. Life gives you plenty of chances and goals to achieve all we simply have to do is push ourselves. Personally I believe in karma, and what you portray will eventually run back. They say to be in love is the best feeling a human being can have, whatever you believe in, go for it but I say, “how can that be?” We can’t make a choice in love, it comes naturally, and when that special moment does happen, I’m glad for you but life’s about choices. Depending on the ones you make, results in what happens in the future. The life I have now, I would never change it for anything. Some days I hate it but when I reflect back on to it after the day has ended, and take a few breaths the words, “I’ll get by as always” come to my mind.

I look up to like the people who survived a tragedy. Most of us knew Ashley Hyatt, and some didn’t. I did. When I heard of her death, I paused; a rush of cold blood hit my heart. Her parents, her best friends….. They lost the one they loved; they never saw it coming, or its approach. We all go through it together, and I think that’s what helps us move on. She was one of a kind, and I’m glad I did hang out with her that one summer; she changed my life as she did too many others. Carrying with her a gift, to brighten people’s lives in a way that not many could. She was too young to leave, but I know she’s up in the clouds watching, she left her mark on our earth in a dramatic way. She will always be remembered. You were one of a kind, rest in peace.

What did I learn this year, what have I experienced this year falls into the same hand: Live my life and not worry about the small things and skim the tough, to be only myself, because life’s to short to be anyone else. Enjoy the little things in life because in the end those are the most important, to take every step slowly, because the faster you do, the earlier life will pass. And never forget, what they taught me, or how they made us feel when they was there.. I remember our family modem, “Never give up.” They will be forced to give up, and I never will, because of them.

Letter to the Government

Dear Makers and producers of Non-Free Range Eggs ,

The procedures your company goes through for the productions of non free range chicken eggs is unacceptable. What do we achieve? A little more money than usual?

The Government states that animal cruelty is against the law in Canada, but what are you doing to prevent the cruelty that you give to these animals? I would admit to doing a crime, but most people wouldn't. The kind of crime that you are doing is far beyond what I would have ever thought to pass the laws of Canada. How would you feel, being sorted out by human hands directly after your born. Although this is continuing to be a discussion there isn't enough acts against it. I will take a stand for our future to be more respectful to our fellow pets and animals. Would you like to have your nose burnt of by a rotating steam grinder, my guess is no. Some say that their productions aren't as drastic as others, but I say if its not free range, its animal cruelty.

Why is Free Range different, and why do I care so much about it?

I strongly believe in the consequences, and actions that come with the crossing of the laws in Canada. When we leave our children at home, do we expect them to be stolen by our care sitters? Or do we want a nurse taking our newborns and pronouncing them as still born, when instead they just have a minor defect with their eye, or ear? That's what we as Canadians, or Americans do to the off spring of our mother chickens. And its not just their chicks that are being abused, its also the hens. Mechanics pump them full of hormones so that the time it takes for one egg to be laid, instead of them producing one or two, they release nine or ten. Why? Whats with our Government and money? Why are we so wound up in the fact, that the more money a nation withholds the more power they portray? We as human beings should be able to view the true, natural things in life, instead of creating such poison to our planet.

While you continue to keep the production procedures of non-free range eggs, you should put yourself in their shoes, If you could see you in them? Would you see abuse?

Buy and produce Free range eggs.

Sincerely from,
Westbank Student

Advertisement McNuggets (Graves&Wilson)

You Left Your Foot Prints On Me

Everyday more and more of me gets washed away with the tide. Days. Only at this time do I see you, and feel you, as you leave your indent on my side. Creating comfort and view, I slowly get washed and shoved back in forth with the incoming and deceiving waves. With me I carry many memories, of when you were young, digging sand castles with your dog and creating a piece of your child life on me. I sparkle when your around, with the sun shining trough my dampness. Cherishing me as you continue your visits through your life. There you are, with your new child, building and playing on the same area. Sharing parts of your life, and making mine whole. One last time, I see you, but you cant stay for long. The clouds are waiting, as you left your foot prints on me.

After Another Year (voice)

Hockey was her dream and it soon became reality. Going to a hockey school in Alberta, we never really see each other, but come the holidays we just cant have enough fun. Making the u18 girls hockey team, team BC and being asked to play for the u18 Team Canada girls, we don't have a lot of time together. Even when she comes home for the holidays, she always has some sort of training. Having only one more year of school left, by the end she'll probably be in the NHL. Her whole family is all about hockey. Her brother, Curtis recently got drafted for Detroit, and plays for Vernon Vipers. We met by my brother, playing hockey with her, they had been good friends and for the past 7 years, Taylor and I have been, well more than friends.

Summer was finally just around the corner, and yet another year went around. Taylor is coming home. We always had this dream, of finishing our tree house enough, so that we could sleep a weekend in it, we got two doors finished and up, screen windows, and a balcony. Although we have accomplished all those things, there are still some finishing touches like putting in the carpet. Knowing that we don't have a lot of time left, I am looking forward to finishing it this summer.

In some way or another, I always seem to injure myself when she comes home. Last year, it was in the summer. That early week we got out of school for last summer, we decided to get up early and go down powers. Since I've already gone down it a lot I know my way, and where the dangerous parts are. Being dumb like I usually am, I took a jump, not knowing that straight behind it there would lay a giant boulder. Hitting the rock with my pedal, the back of my bike spun outwards, I flew off forward with the downhill force, landing with my back against a tree, and small rocks below me. Probably weighing at around 5lbs each. I could hardly get up. After biking back home. I realized that I fractured my tail bone, all I can say, is that it was an experience I wish never would of happened.

Two years ago. During the winter, when the snow covered the ground, like a white blanket covering our earth, we got a quad for Christmas. Not a very smart idea. We were playing the usual: someone with a air soft gun, unfortunately this one was a M16 machine gun, and when that thing shot and hit you, you would get a whole in your skin, no mind the huge bruise it leaves behind for such a small plastic Beebe. Taylor and I were on the quad racing through our pasture, we had all the open space because the animals were locked up in the top paddock for the winter. So we we doing donuts and all the other dumb things you could imagine, and by the way, we weren't exactly the smartest people when it came to life threatening toys so we didn't wear any helmets. My brother started running down the hill, leading from our house to the road. He begins to shoot at us from around 10 yards away. One bullet hits me and the same goes for Taylor. She begins to speed up, at this we would not be able to make any tight turns. We go through the gate, across the grass, we reach the driveway. We couldn't turn, and we ran right into a like 200ft poplar tree. Going at the speed of 40km/h the results weren't as bad as they would seem. We both flung forward with such force, Taylor went over the handle bars I, flew towards her and nailed my hip of the handle. we each had like dislocated knees, or something cause they were aching. We slowly drove up the driveway in pain and when we reached the top, we took a look at the quad. the whole front had a round indent, obviously from the tree, and the handle bars were bent. Even after we realized this we still kept playing.

Kayaks are just a completely different story. She basically shoves me under the front, and like a km away from shore she purposely tips it and I almost drown. Continuing to do it, we have a lot of fun, pulling the sinking water filled kayak to shore ands dumping out the water when we get there.

Injuries, are just memories. All those memories make Taylor my sister, and the one I never had. This summer, I hope to not hurt myself. While, I'm trying not to, I most likely will.

I love you Taylor.

A Strange Day in July

No one really knows how it feels having your parents divorced, until it actually happens. This story begins with a high heart that sinks low, but once again picked up by a loving animal and friend, Odis.

He was the brightest, boy for his age in his class. Five. That's the number of days their parents fought, that's the number of days it took him to realize what was happening, that's the number of minuets between him and his sisters births, and that's the number of days the trip was to his Dads. For his sister and him being twins, they would always do things together, well for the five years they had lived. Never really realizing, how things would change not having your mother and father together. The whole saying "till death do us part," never was made reality in the lives of their parents marrige.

"Bye, Mommy," the twins sobbed together.
"Bye sweets, I'll miss you, and if theres any problems you two just call Mommy okay?"
"Love you." Those were the last words the two childeren said to their mother.

"I love you too,"she pleaded.

The childeren were on their way to experience a great adventure. Their father was ecxpecting them to go last year, but he dissapeared for a couple of weeks saying he went out of the country. Their mother never really did know what happened. Thats why she waited for another year to send her to so muchly loved kids. She always kept the thought in mind that there was something else going on behind the scenes in their fathers world. Although the never wanted then to leave she new it would be best for them to go, and that at this age its an important time in their life.

Arriving at the airport the two kids, walked off the plane with a smile, finally being able to meet their father. Instead of a man, who they would expect to be their Dad meeting them there to pick them up is was a women. "Excuse me, I'm Sam and this is my sister Alex. Our father was suppose to pick us up here, do you know where he mgiht be?"

"I know exactly, and I am..."

"Oh good, please tell us where he is!" They were both so relieved that this women knew there father.

"I'm your Dad's wife........Julie."

"Oh.....okay, ummmm..." Sam and Alex didnt know what to say next, they didnt want to be rude. Understanding that this is the way it was they got into the car with the women, hoping she wasnt lying. And as they got on the road they began to sence something. Where they were heading didnt look like it did 3 years ago.

Driving deeper into the forest, the women, "Julie" never said a word and neither did we. I didnt want to say anything to Alex, to not scare her. But I knew where ever we were going, wasnt right. Another bend was coming up, and I was praying my Dad would pop out of no where and say eveythings okay. I had mistaken. My Dad never popped out, and nothing was going to be alright.

Reaching the house, that part of the shivering jouney looked familiar. There was Dad, sitting on the dock suntanning. How could we forget, especially so much. We better not get lost out here or we are in for a rude awakening.

Sitting down with our Father was awkward, Alex said the first word at the dinner table. After that conversations were carried on, I'd expect my Dad to be more mature than that. Having your 5 year old daughter bring up the memories and conversation, didnt sit quite right with me. He had changed, but I didnt know how. This whole place was strange, today I was walking out by the water, and the rock I skipped out into the water away from me, unexpectingly came skipping back. Lets just say I had a bad day.

Catching up with our Father, great experience for our age. I think hes moving back to our city, and so is his wife, who by the way is actually really nice.

Shatterd

Slamming on the floor, it made a windmill of papers go by, and flickered to a page. What was this thing, and why was it trying to show me something that never existed. The room fell to an unsound volume. The light locked up. Drifted dreams of history, blew closer to my shore. That picture, the picture the supernatural thing was trying to show me. It was……….me.
Living with my aunt, not the choice I had in mind. When losing both parents and being an only child, it was the next somewhat straight line I had left. The paths I had previously taken disappeared before my eyes. I was lost. The idea that came to mind in my past, and seeing the future, never met what I had. Although being a teen, the situations that always occurred never came to mind. I can only pray for better things, but for some reason the things we always want more are the things, we aren’t able to reach. Falling hands and weak arms was what were left of the evidence, that been taken away.
With the tick of every second, it seemed the hours went by. Life was a dream, and it only happened to be for the first 15 years of my life. What had I done wrong to deserve this, and could there ever be an alternate ending? One that would resolve in some other dream, at least close to what I had. It was only a thought, the whole alternate ending; it never became reality, and never a dream. Not ever close to what I had.
Begging for her to live here, and not for me to move, it never returned a result. Since my life was now just dust, it was time for me to walk away. That day, that moment was the hardest thing to ever live in. Emotions and tears filled my memories with the same thing that filled my bones. Nothing. The wind blew my hair. Silently I became hurt; worse than a feeling and more than words.
Rain poured down, and the road was hard to see. What did it matter, if I would of just gone with them, I wouldn’t feel what was in my head. The hurt, the rain, it all kind of made my life scene more depressing. My parents told me to always move forward, and never look back behind you, to see what’s left. At that moment the only thing I could do was search for what was left. It wasn’t my choice to have them leave, or the way they did.
Passing the signs, and with each turn off, I became further and further away from home. The distance we had to go was short, but with the silence that filled the car never made it any easier. It’s like we didn’t even know each other anymore. I wanted to say something but I just couldn’t force the words out of my mouth. While, I was thinking this I couldn’t help to think if her thoughts were the same.
Arriving at the new house, I was curious. For some reason it looked more run down than ever. Although my aunt Alice always looked beautiful, her home; not so much. She helped me grab all my bags and another flashback occurred. This time it was of my family, and all of us coming here for the summer, then it was like something didn’t want me to remember and it blew the thought out of my mind. This eerie thing or whatever it was gave me that feeling.
Nervously, I was on my way down to the basement. With each and every creak in the base boards, I thought I was going to fall through. I couldn’t believe aunt Alice let it go this far. Why, she was always so clean with her house. If, I could have a choice I would not be living in this particular part of the house. Revolting, as I glared at the furniture and dust, that was the feeling in my stomach. Dropping my luggage on the floor I rush up the rickety stairs. As if it wasn’t me running, something made my adrenaline rush, there was no other though than that this house was in a state of disclosure. Talking to my aunt was the only resolution I had. “Alice, do you mind if I ask you a question”? There was no reply. “Aunt Alice, hello”. Still nothing, where could she be? I heard heavy breathing then nothing. Frightened I slowly crept up to the edge of the wall, leading in to the kitchen. There she was, doing what she does best, baking pies. “Aunt Alice?”
“Yes, dear”, “are you okay?” I stuttered.
“Well of course, everything’s fine.” I knew nothing was.
“Can we go outside for a walk?” I asked, just to get the result of getting out from this house, it just wasn’t right.
“Sure, just as soon as I get this pie in the oven to bake, okay?” Her reply was a little shallow. This person who was talking, I don’t think it was Alice, but the alternative; I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
We followed the path, and just as we reached the end to turn around, I paused; the movements in my legs came to a halt. “You, have to tell me what’s wrong with the house.” I firmly stated.
“I kind of knew you’d find out, or sense”, when she said it, I could see a sudden look of relief in her eyes. “Yeah, I think so.” When all this came out into the open, I actually new why she couldn’t move into my house, I was ment to come here and stop this miserable world Alice was living in.
Reaching the house, I was anxious to get started, my aunt told me not to get involved with the antiques in the basements, that they held too many secrets that couldn’t be let out. I made slight movements down the stairs, asking the same question over and over again, and I did this cause I had nothing to lose being scared out of my wits. I never had anything anymore other than Alice who was in the same place I was. Nothing. “Who are you and what is your place here?” As the last words, a picture was thrown across the room, and shattered on the cement. It was a picture of my Mother, and Alice with each having a crack mark on their faces, so obviously this whole creepy ghost thing had to do with them. Asking one more time, “who are you?” Another object was flung across the ground and stopped at my feet, this time a book. On a certain page some letters from the rest of the book were ripped out. There on the page was a picture, but who was it. The letters below spelled out. YOU. The picture, it was ….me. The ghost was me.